They Tried To Kill Yo Favorite Famous Beech

So today was the day. They finally tried to take me out. At approximately 7:40 AM I awakened to this text:

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And indeed it was. As the precipitation picked up my spirits fell with those flurries. There were two things I knew to be true – it wasn’t going to let up, and neither was Howard University. After many failed attempts I finally mustered up the courage to slither out of my bed and into the shower. Armed with my full body coat and an umbrella I trekked into the winter wonderland to make it to my 9:40 determined to not let the weather get me down. It took one step into the real world for me to realize my Pumas aint it.

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My neck was immediately broke. Surrounded by puddles and black ice I couldn’t help but to feel cornered and attacked. I saw brave men and women sprinting through the slush in their timb boots which was riskyyyy business in my eyes, because your girl was surely tip-toeing in her Jordan’s. Needless to say I attended all my classes *with an attitude*, murdered a test (or it murdered me who knows), and here I am at 3 am still outside of the comfort of my warm bed. As your local oracle I foresee this being a rough winter y’all and all I got to say is, are timb snow boots or nah? If not, put me on to something real before it’s too late.

All in all today was beyond frightening and I will never forget this treachery. George W. Bush and that gahdamned weather machine are going to catch the smoothest fade soon as I touch down in Alaska. Say your prayers HAARP.

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