Your FBI Agent Misses You

I’m sorry, but if you’re one of those people who covers their laptop camera I’m judging you. Because I think you’re dense. Af. Every time I sit within the sea that is student hood, I have to lay my eyes on all sorts of tape and obstructions and truth is I’m tired.

It seems as though nowadays everyone is concerned about being watched or heard through their devices whether it be by random perverts, computer hackers or… the government(?). While I totally understand the sentiment I suppose my frustration is with the fact that modern technology and our social system literally allow us no privacy as it stands, so what…are you protecting with that lul piece of tape?

If you are a United States citizen, permanent, or temporary resident you are without a doubt living with a chip in your brain carved with three digits that correlate to… I’m joking. But seriously we are all stuck with a social security NUMBER. Already you’re clocked. At least twice a day you lend your personal and sensitive information to a new database… I doubt you can name even 30% of the websites you currently have accounts with. Furthermore, the collective of these accounts house personal information that can be matched up with/traced to your assets, residential history, place of employment and family members. Everything you do on the internet and in the world is being documented and followed by someone.

If you aren’t in your home there are cameras on you that feed footage to who knows where. Not to mention that we voluntarily Snapchat every moment of our lives *with* location tags, tweet about our families and daily struggles and share photos of our homes, schools and jobs. Basically, we ask for people to watch us and we fling our personal information out like monkeys with shit. It’s odd. You’ll click through Terms and Conditions like its a race, with not a care in the world… but you can’t possible stand for someone knowing what color bed spread you own.

Besides the fact that your business already isn’t your own, what’s most important to me right now is figuring out wtf it is you all are doing in front of your laptops that you A) think the government would be interested in B) haven’t done in front of your phone camera? I’m convinced that some of you must be covert agents or traitors the way you’re trying to hide from Big Brother. I don’t know, but I’d just like to know you’ll hold me down if anything comes up.

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